Suckin' on my Titties....

like you wanted me?

What does that song mean? Jesus... some people have NO concept of romance.

Anyway, since we're talking about it, let's get a "Titties" high-five!

We have this friend. She's a girl. She has Breasts. To keep her identity a secret we'll refer to her by a codename: Ellie. Did we mention Ellie has Breasts? Cause we were just talking about them.

It happened to be that tonight the entire staff of the Mountain Sexvival Guide was watching 90210 together at a sorority house. (I mean... we're sexperts, where else would we be hanging out... *yells "Sorostitutes, HELL YEAH"*) We got into an argument with Ellie.

Ellie thinks her breasts "need" a push-up bra. Other girls in the house, ones with more naturally perky and full bodied breasts, did not "need" a push-up bra. The entire staff was angry. We don't feel anyone "needs" any specific flavour of bra.

Here's the deal, straight from the appendix to the Guide: Those ideas about what you need in order to be an attractive woman... those are stupid ideas. Those are unnatural constructs of flawed modern understandings of what the human form "should" look like. Those ideas are big business telling you that you aren't good enough.

Big business can go to hell. Your body is fine. There is nothing wrong with you. You don't "need" anything. Having a healthy Sexuality... requires having a healthy view of yourself. Also, Breasts are hot.

Sambert signing out.

Tip #12
Your little man is impressionable. If you masturbate too much and ejaculate too quickly... he'll think his job is supposed to be over in a jiffy when he's in a 'gina.