The following Sex advice is additionally applicable in non-sexual or non-romantic relationships.
Page 1 of the Mountain Sexvival Guide begins with the words "Never trust a woman." These are followed immediately by the words "Never trust a man." Page 2 is mostly an explanation of how Page 1 is predicated on the false notion that there are only two genders. We’re saving that topic for a special occasion. We’ll stick to page 1.
The reason the Guide begins by admonishing the trustworthiness of Women and Men is that assumptions about your partner are always wrong. It is not just that Men and Women have different perspectives on Sex… it’s that every person on the face of the planet feels differently about Sex and sexuality. You cannot trust the person you are sleeping with to feel what you feel. You can trust that you don’t understand their objective or aspirations. This brings us to Salt-N-Pepa. Let’s talk about Sex baby.
Some people think Sex is just for fun. Some people think Sex is a way of marking territory. Some people think Sex is a way to have power or control. Some people believe Sex is the ultimate expression of Love. One of our writers thinks Sex is the only fuel for creativity, and thus a necessary component of making Art. The Guide strongly recommends people know why they have, or want to have, sexual relationships. Once you know, you can talk about it. Sewanee will be a friendlier place if you can talk about Sex.
Many of the people on this Mountain engage in Polyamory. That’s when you have multiple “open relationships” at once. They don’t all call it that, but it’s the name for Susan repeatedly hooking up with Tom over a couple weekends while having Sex regularly with Dave. It’s none of our business what Susan does, but chances are she hasn’t told Dave or Tom.
Even if Susan said “Dave, I’m not ready to be in a relationship, I’d like this to be commitment free.” Dave hears “Susan wants some space to do her own thing.” Susan meant “I want some space to do you and Tom without any guilt.”
Don’t settle for vague. If you are going to have sex with someone… ask them what it means to them. Ask them what your relationship means. Ask often. Don’t be afraid to ruin the moment. If you need to un-ruin the moment after these questions suck on their index finger. Shwabam! New moment. Be prepared for their answers to differ from your own. Lastly, have your own answers to those questions. Your brain needs all that knowledge to make the healthiest decisions about Sex.
Signing Out.
Tip #2
It’s not gay to have sex with another boy (girl). It’s gay to want to have sex with another boy (girl). You’ll be who you are regardless of what (who) you do.
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